Comedy Posts

Hi in this post i will share some good jokes and comedy images.

*****
Art ka period start hua.
Teacher:Ek painting banao jisme Ek bus ho aur passengers ho jo usme chad rahe ho
Sabhi students ki copy teacher dekh rahi thi.
Tabhi teacher ek student ke pas pahuchi usne kuch bhi nahi banaya tha.
Teacher:Iske sare passenger kaha gaye
Student:Sare bus me chad gaye
Teacher:To bus kaha gayi
Student:Bus chali gayi.

*****
Pappu: Mujhe apki beti se shadi karni hai
Father:Tumhari salary meri beti ke liye toilet paper bhi afford nahi kar sakti
Pappu:Agar itni potty karti hai to rahne do

This joke has two actors: Son And Dad

Beta: Papa main itna bada kab honga ki mom se bina poochey ghar ke bahar ja sakoo

Papa : Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon.

*****
Ladkiwale - Hame aisa Ladka chahiye jo Paan, Cigrette, Daru na leta ho....aur sirf Boiled Khana khae..... Din Raat Bhagwan ka Naam le......
Pandit - Aisa ladka to apko wo samane wale Leelavati Hospital ke ICU mein hee milega....

*****
Dukandar- bolo Sahab, kya Chaahiye ?
Aadmi : hone wali Biwi ke Kutte ke liye Cake lene aaya hoon..
milega kya ??

Dukandar : haan.. per yahi Khaaoge ya Pack Kar doon ???

*****
Ek sharabi ne bahut zyada sharab pee le. Jab woh ghar aaya to uss ne jeb se chabi nikali aur tala ko kholney laga.
Haath kaapne ke wajha se chabi kabhi idhar hat jati kabhi udhar hat jati, ek admi pass se guzra toh sharabi ne usey bataya ki tala nahi khul rahi hai.
Uss shaks ne sharabi ke pass ja kar kaha, “lao chabi tala main khol deta hoon”
Aur phir sharabee ne kaha, “Tala toh main hi kholonga bas tum makan ko pakar ke rakhna”

*****
Best pick up line to approach a Girl:
Boy: Is your Dad Terrorist?
.
.
.
.
.
.

Girl: What?
Boy: No! I asked
because you r such a
Bomb!

*****

4 boys on were bike
Police: Triple riding is banned aur tum 4 log ek hi bike par baithe ho.. ??
.
Boys shocked…
.
.
.

.

.
look behind..
.
.
.
.
.
and says: Saalo 5wa kaha gir
gaya.. ??
Jise party deni thi..

*****

A junior in an office dialed his boss number by mistake & said : Hey, send a coffee in my cabin in two minutes!

Boss shouted : Do you know whom you’re talking to ?!

Junior: no!

Boss: I’m the boss of this office.

Junior (in the same tone) : & do u know whom you’re talking to?

Boss: No!

Junior: Thank God. (and disconnected the phone)

*****

Ladki pic upload karke likhti hai:
Hi friendzz kesi lag rahi hoon..?

.

.

.

Boy: tere baap ne 15-20 hazaar ka mobile leke diya hai
to ghar me 500rs. ka sheesha bhi lagaya hoga..
uss mein dekh le,
humse kya poochhti hai ‘Bhootni’ kahi ki…

*****

In a school function
A K.G boy started closing his ears with both hnds,
When girl was about to start her speech …
Others asked him Why r you closing your ears?

He replied: Dude, She is my Girlfriend
n She is gonna start her speech with
.
.
.
.
.
My Dear
Brothers n Sisters ..


                                         More jokes Click Here

Read More

Multiplication of two Hexadecimal Numbers

If we have given two Hexadecimal numbers then there are two ways by which we can get the multiplication of these numbers:

1) By direct multiplication of Hexadecimal Numbers
2) By first converting these Hexadecimal Numbers to Binary Numbers then multiply these numbers and then convert this result in Hexadecimal again.

 So here i will explain the first method since second method is simple and easy to use.

 There are following steps in this procedure:

Step 1)  First we will multiply numbers as decimal numbers and add carry if any.

Step 2)   If we get any remainder in step 2 we put it as result (in hexadecimal format) otherwise we put 0 as result.

Step 3)   The quotient of step 2 becomes the carry for its left digits.

For example
Find the product of 1A8₁₆ and AF₁₆.
                               6    5                     ← Digits carried over in second multiplication
                               9    7                     ← Digits carried over in first multiplication.
                               1   A   8
                  x                A   F
                             ---------------
                          1   8   D   8
                     1   0   9   0    0
                   --------------------------
                     1  2   1    D   8
                   ---------------------------

Step 1)    F x 8 = 78.

Step 3)  result=8

Step 4) carry=7

Similarly other digits are multiplied.

F x A = 96₁₆
and 96₁₆ + 7₁₆ = 9D₁₆.

F x 1 = F.
and F₁₆ + 9₁₆ = 18₁₆ .

Since the multiplication is complete thus the result is 1A8₁₆  x  AF₁₆ = 121D8₁₆.
       

Read More

Multiplication of two octal numbers.

If we have given two Octal numbers then there are two ways by which we can get the multiplication of these numbers:

1) By direct multiplication of Octal Numbers
2) By first converting these Octal Numbers to Binary Numbers then multiply these numbers and then convert this result in Octal again

 So here i will explain the first method since second method is simple and easy to use.

Since Octal Numbers are from 1 to 8 so there are following steps in this procedure:

Step 1)  First we will multiply numbers as decimal numbers and add carry if any.

Step 2)   Now the result is divided by 8.

Step 3)   If we get any remainder in step 2 we put it as result otherwise we put 0 as result.

Step 4)   The quotient of step 2 becomes the carry for its left digits.

For example
                  Suppose two numbers are 6₈ × 23₈ 

Step 1)    6*3=18

Step 2)   18/8=>  quotient=2 and remainder=2

Step 3)  result=2   (remainder)

Step 4) carry=2   (Quotient)

now again,    for  6*2

Step 1)  6*2=12  
              12+2 =14   (where 2 is carry)

Step 2)  12/8=>   quotient=1 and remainder=4

Step 3)  result=4   (remainder)

Step 4) carry=1   (Quotient)


Since the multiplication is complete thus the result is 162_8.
         

Read More

Insertion Sort using C++

Program Code:

#include<iostream.h>
#include<conio.h>
main()
{
int a[50],size;
char ch;
cout<<"Enter size of array\n";
cin>>size;
cout<<"Enter the order of sorting\n";
cout<<"Enter a for ascending or d for decending\n";
cin>>ch;
cout<<"Enter elements of array\n";
for(int i=0;i<size;i++)
{
cin>>a[i];
}
int t;
for(int i=1;i<=size;i++)
{
t=a[i];
for(int j=0;j<i;j++)
{
if(t<a[j])
{
for(int k=i;k>=j;k--)
{
a[k]=a[k-1];
}
a[j]=t;
break;

}
}
}
cout<<"The sorted array is\n";
if(ch=='a')
{
        for(int i=0;i<size;i++)
        {
cout<<a[i]<<"\t";
}
}
else if(ch=='d')
{
        for(int i=size-1;i>=0;i--)
{
cout<<a[i]<<"\t";
}
}
getch();
}

Output:

Read More

Bubble sort using C++

Program Code:


#include<iostream.h>
#include<conio.h>
main()
{
int a[50],size;
char ch;
cout<<"Enter size of array\n";
cin>>size;
cout<<"Enter the order of sorting\n";
cout<<"Enter a for ascending or d for decending\n";
cin>>ch;
cout<<"Enter elements of array\n";
for(int i=0;i<size;i++)
{
cin>>a[i];
}
for(int i=0;i<size;i++)
{
for(int j=0;j<size-i;j++)
{
if(a[j+1]<a[j])
{
int temp=a[j];
a[j]=a[j+1];
a[j+1]=temp;
}
}
}
cout<<"The sorted array is\n";
if(ch=='a')
{
        for(int i=0;i<size;i++)
        {
cout<<a[i]<<"\t";
}
}
else if(ch=='d')
{
        for(int i=size-1;i>=0;i--)
{
cout<<a[i]<<"\t";
}
}
getch();
}

Output:

Read More

Selection sort using C++

Program Code:

#include<iostream.h>
#include<conio.h>
main()
{
int a[50],size;
char ch;
cout<<"Enter size of array\n";
cin>>size;
cout<<"Enter the order of sorting\n";
cout<<"Enter a for ascending or d for decending\n";
cin>>ch;
cout<<"Enter elements of array\n";
for(int i=0;i<size;i++)
{
cin>>a[i];
}
for(int i=0;i<size-1;i++)
{
for(int j=i+1;j<size;j++)
{
if(a[i]<a[j])
{
int temp=a[i];
a[i]=a[j];
a[j]=temp;
}
}
}
cout<<"The sorted array is\n";
if(ch=='d')
{
        for(int i=0;i<size;i++)
        {
cout<<a[i];
}
}
else if(ch=='a')
{
        for(int i=size-1;i>=0;i--)
{
cout<<a[i]<<"\t";
}
}
getch();
}

Output:

Read More

Binary Search using C++

Program Code:

#include<iostream.h>
#include<conio.h>
int binarySearch(int a[],int,int);

main()
{
int arr[50],size,index,target;
cout<<"Enter the size of array(max 50):\n";
cin>>size;
cout<<"Enter the elements of the array:\n";
for(int i=0;i<size;i++)
{
cin>>arr[i];
}
cout<<"Enter the element to be searched:\n";
cin>>target;
index=binarySearch(arr,size,target);
if(index==-1)
{
cout<<"Element is not present in the list\n";
}
else
{
cout<<"Element is present at index "<<index+1;
}

getch();
}
int binarySearch(int a[],int s,int t)
{
int beg,last,mid;
beg=0;
last=s-1;
while(beg<=last)
{
mid=(beg+last)/2;
if(a[mid]==t)
{
return mid;
}
else if(t>a[mid])
{
beg=mid+1;
}
else
{
last=mid-1;
}
}
return -1;
}

Output:

Read More

Linear Search using C++

Program Code:


#include<iostream.h>
#include<conio.h>
int linearSearch(int a[],int,int);

main()
{
int arr[50],size,index,target;
cout<<"Enter the size of array(max 50):\n";
cin>>size;
cout<<"Enter the elements of the array:\n";
for(int i=0;i<size;i++)
{
cin>>arr[i];
}
cout<<"Enter the element to be searched:\n";
cin>>target;
index=linearSearch(arr,size,target);
if(index==-1)
{
cout<<"Element is not present in the list\n";
}
else
{
cout<<"Element is present at index "<<index+1;
}

getch();
}
int linearSearch(int a[],int s,int t)
{
for(int i=0;i<s;i++)
{
if(a[i]==t)
{
return i;
}
}
return -1;
}

Output:

Read More